【The Exotic Time Machine】

Social Good 2025-06-26 03:23:18 557432 Views

If life is The Exotic Time Machinea classroom, Twitter is the chalkboard.

The main point of Twitter is that there isn't one. You can say whatever you want, whenever you want. While that can cause problems, it also allows for people to say what they're trulyfeeling and thinking, which can be very relatable. I mean, where else on the internet can you scroll through a string of emojis typed by Cher, vitriol from the president, and a video of a baby in a wig, all in a 30-second timeframe?

Some 500 million tweets get tweeted each day, according to Hootsuite. If you multiply that number by 33 (the average character count of tweets, according to Tech Crunch), you'll get 1.65e10 (according to my calculator). That's a lotof characters being tossed into the digital ether by human fingers.

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It can make it incredibly easy to miss the perfect tweets when they do happen, but don't worry here are what I believe to be some of the greatest tweets of this year, so far.

Scroll. Enjoy. Retweet, if you'd like. Twitter is your oyster.

Where better to have true horse girl discourse than on dear ol' Twitter?

Cher stays extremely relatable.

Six months is the best case scenario. Personally, it takes me at least seven years to get over someone if they hold the door for me.

This is my favorite picture of Keanu Reeves, hands down.

Check, mates!

As a gay, I can confirm this theory.

If you're not sending me exclusive content, don't send anything at all.

No academic institution could come close to the lessons she just learned.

"Chick-Fil-ationship" is going straight into my rolodex, thanks, Mitch.

It begs the question: Was Marie Antoinette the original e-girl?

Not what we wanted to hear, but what we needed to hear.

On top of doing absolutely nothing with this life, cats have 8 more lives of lounging to live? Jealous.

Exclusively referring to my friends and their significant others as "cowboy detectives" from now on.

It's interesting because I've never thought about Best Buy's ideal customer...I just knew it was never ME.

This tweet made me a stronger human being.

Imagine if this turned up at the foot of your bed at 3 AM.

Me on any given holiday (including Saturdays and Sundays).

Restaurants with bathroom keys
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Where can I get this as a t-shirt in a size medium? Asking for a friend.

Ah yes, a handy guide on how to skirt the "I don't want kids" backlash by speaking like a scorned medieval princess.

This. This is what the asterisk was made for.

TBT to eating 100 pretzels in a sitting and not feeling guilty about it.

This needs to be a bumper sticker.

A very 2019 conundrum.

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You don't get named Bear Grylls to not grow up and have a tv show about eating bugs in the wild.

Siblings: Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Let's get Adele on the phone and have her come up with a new English name for "milkshake."

There's something about being in the airport security line that just makes anxiety hit differently.

Whoever designed this grocery store aisle sign needs a gold medal.

Including this tweet in this roundup on Mashable.com is...kind of meta.

Alright folks, there's six months until the start of a new decade. Let's rally the Twitter troops and type out some seriously sick tweets. I can't believe I just typed that with my own fingers.

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